Could you read these words and comment?

No, its not finished. Start with evening the lines in beats. You have some awkward phrasing (welcome to the club): 'for it is I to', 'so long have I for to rest' for example. Not too sold on your third stanza. Nice build up to it though. If you want the ending couplet to stand and say you're gone, then maybe more of the reasoning why in the third, unless I am reading it wrong.